When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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