there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
