it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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