her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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