I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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