Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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