after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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