her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
If I die, sorry about rent.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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