put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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