she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
