He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
