i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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