I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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