What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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