he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
