i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
