She's JV to your varsity
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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