He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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