She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
