I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
