apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
