Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
