Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
