Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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