we're blogging at a bar
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
