he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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