Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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