i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
