Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
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