Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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