Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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