What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize