yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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