I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
