We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
