did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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