jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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