Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
