I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Can I color on your dick again?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
