So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
