no, he came in my armpit
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You smell like stripper and shame
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
