and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
