Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
