so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
