PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
