So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Please, let me fuck your mom
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
