I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Randomize
