Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
