Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
