And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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