he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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