Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
