she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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