Where did you get a picture of my penis
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
