she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
